


Deepest and Darkest Desire - Bucky Barnes

by swritings



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Action, Action & Romance, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 13:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18208847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swritings/pseuds/swritings
Summary: Bucky Barnes has never known life outside hunting. Alongside his partner, Steve Rogers, he has killed monsters most won’t even have heard of, and lived to tell the tale. When a murder happens on Valentine’s day, they set out to investigate, but discover that things aren’t as easily solved as they thought. Bucky also comes to find that the town holds a great deal of surprise for him that doesn’t only involve the hunt.





	Deepest and Darkest Desire - Bucky Barnes

**Author's Note:**

> This was based on an episode of Supernatural. The one shot has been converted from a Kpop fic into a Marvel fic.

"Morning," Bucky grunted as he stumbled into the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge. His head was pounding, stomach rumbling and throat parched; drinking all night had not been his wisest idea.

Steve frowned from his seat the dinner table as Bucky stuffed his face with far more rice than he was capable of, multiple pieces sticking to the side of his mouth. He looked like a mess, to be frank. Half of his hair had been flattened in his sleep, and the other half was sticking straight up. He had also managed to, somehow, put on both his shirt and shorts the wrong way around. Steve had seen him hungover a fair amount but never like this.

"Did you stay in all night?" Bucky asked once he had swallowed, not at all bothered by the judgement directed his way; he was more than used to being on the receiving end of that glance.

Steve only looked down again, returning his attention to his laptop.

"Of course, you did. Don't why I even asked."

"I just don't see the fun in drinking all night with strangers," Steve said at last, "or doing more." He nodded towards the hickey bruising the side of Bucky's neck.

"It was Valentine's day," Bucky shrugged, fingers lightly touching the bruise that he had forgotten. Contrary to Steve's belief (not that it was that far-fetched), he hadn't actually spent the night with anyone. His reputation as a lady's man wasn't quite as infamous as it used to be.

It wasn't for lack of trying, though. He had gone out, fully planning to wake up in a stranger's bed tomorrow, but in the middle of fulfilling said plan things went awry. He had a woman in his arms, a gorgeous woman, but all he could see was your face. All he could think of was your body pressed against his, your lips nibbling and sucking on the side of his neck and his name moaned by your voice.

No matter how hard he tried to forget that train of thought, he just couldn't (and it definitely wasn't for lack of trying). All he could see was you.

All he wanted was you.

He had left the girl soon afterwards, realising that his plan to move on had backfired. You weren't as easy to forget as he had hoped, but really he should have known better. The hold you had on him still, even after months of not seeing each other, was too strong to forget in an evening.

He had slumped into a seat at the corner of the bar, ordering their strongest drink, thinking that if sex wasn't the answer, then alcohol was the next best thing.

Despite his best attempt to keep his attention on the glass in front of him (or anything, really), his thoughts still went to you. Never in his life had he imagined that he would feel this way. You were never supposed to fill such a big part in his life. At first, you were only a passerby that sometimes helped them out on hunts. Neither of you was that fond of each other, having met other hunters who only cared about saving themselves, but you still stuck around and helped each other out, though not without keeping a wary eye at each other.

It didn't take long, though, for you to escape that role, having saved their lives on more than one occasion (more often than he liked to admit). Their trust in you grew, and so did your friendships, and before you knew it, you were travelling with them.

The venture from friendship into something more had happened so slowly, that he didn't even realise himself. He had noticed that he liked spending time with you; he liked hearing you laugh (especially, if it was because of him) and when you chose to share the bed with him rather than Steve because the motels were lacking rooms, his heart galloped. He just hadn't realised that it wasn't usual to feel this way until the hunt where things nearly went wrong.

It was the worst hunt in his life. He could say that with certainty, and that's even counting the one time where he nearly died of internal bleeding after being hexed.

It was still the worst. No other time had caused the same amount of devastating dread - not even when Steve, who was more like a brother than a friend, was in danger.

That's how Bucky knew you weren't meant to stay. The two of them got into far more than humanly possible danger than most, and he couldn't deal with that feeling again. If you were to stay, you would be in danger 24/7. He couldn't be responsible for that.

It was for the best if you parted ways. He just hadn't thought of the fact that you attracted plenty of dangerous stuff on your own, and not knowing whether or not you were okay, was actually worse. He kept imagining you cornered on hunts, screaming for help, but none arriving. However, he doubted you would come back after the scolding he had given you that night. He was at fault for your absence, but still, he couldn't help but wish you were beside him. Every day he wished he could go back in time, and change things.

Oh, the things he wished for.

"I found something. Louisa Turner, a 19-year-old babysitter, was murdered last night," Steve said brutally bringing him back to reality, reminding him that his wishes were never going to be fulfilled. He was meant to save people; his wishes weren’t as important as their lives.

"How?"

"Her heart was ripped out. I'm thinking werewolf."

"On Valentine's day? That's ironic," Bucky said through another bite. "We'll check it out, but first I need some more food."

"No, first you need a shower," Steve grimaced.

"It can't be that ba-" Bucky sniffed his armpit, grimacing as he pulled away. "You're right."

"Always am," Steve mumbled though intentionally loud enough for Bucky still to hear on the way to the bathroom. He cackled loudly as Bucky's middle finger popped back around the corner of the door.

*******

The two-story house looked like it came right out of a movie with its white picket fence on a street of similar homes in an idyllic neighbourhood. It wasn't a place where you would expect a brutal murder to take place and based on the neighbour's discreet but still noticeable peeking through their curtains, neither had they.

The house belonged to the Wheelers, Vanessa and Josh, a couple in their thirties with one child. Vanessa answered the door and was quick to let them inside after they showed their FBI badges - fake, of course, but she didn't know that - but told them that they needed to do this fast since Josh was heading to the office soon. 

Steve appeased her worry with a smile as they all took a seat in their dining room. "Sure. How about you just tell us exactly what happened that evening?"

Vanessa nodded. "Louisa came over around 6. We went for dinner and when we got home... We found her in the living room, in a pool of blood; Angie was crying hysterically upstairs. It was awful." Vanessa stroked Josh's hand as she relived the evening tearfully.

"Can you think of any reason as to why someone would want to hurt Louisa?" Bucky asked.

"No," Vanessa shook her head. "She was such a sweet girl. I was so happy when she agreed to babysit for us; Angie absolutely adored her."

"Anyone who met her fell in love with her," Josh supplied, averting his eyes to his lap.

"It could have been a crime of passion. Did she have any crazy ex-boyfriends?" Bucky asked watching Josh's reaction carefully. He had been acting suspiciously the entire time they had been here.

"Not that I know of." Vanessa turned to Josh. "Honey?"

"Why would I know?" Josh crossed his arms, frowning at her.

Steve raised an eyebrow. "Was anything stolen? Any chance this might have been a robbery gone wrong?"

"No, I don't think so. Only the nanny cam's missing," Vanessa answered.

"Alright," Bucky said standing up. "Thanks for your time. Give us a call if anything comes up."

"We will," Josh said as he saw them out. The door closed behind them with a bang.

The two of them shared a look. "Is it just me or was he acting weird?"

"I was thinking the same thing," Steve said. "Let’s split up. You can drop me off at the morgue and visit Josh at the office."

"Yeah, he might be a bit more cooperative without his wife," Bucky agreed.

*******

Steve stared at the grey building in front of him as Bucky sped off. It couldn't have fitted better in with the dreary weather, he thought. Sometimes he wished he could just jet off and spend the weekend at some beach down south, but he wasn't that lucky. With a sigh he stepped inside, shaking off the droplets of rain that had fallen on him. He had duties to fulfil.

"FBI." He held his badge up to the secretary. "I need to see Louisa Turner's body."

"Another FBI agent?" the secretary questioned, but still stood up to show him the way.

Steve stiffened. Shit. Either that meant this case was far more serious than they had thought or there was another hunter in the building. Both unpleasant, though he would still prefer it to be a hunter, at least that wouldn't get him arrested.

"We just want to do our best to solve this case," he fibbed giving her a convincing smile, as he followed her down the hallway. He had lost the opportunity to leave without making her suspicious so he would just have to rely on his acting chops, despite how lacking they were.

"Good. I've been so scared to leave my daughter alone ever since..." she shivered, not even daring to speak of it, as they reached the room. "Mr Johnson. I've got another FBI agent here."

Steve stepped inside portraying a false sense of confidence as he indiscreetly tried to survey what trouble was awaiting him. His eyes scanned the room and widened when he saw who was inside. Even though he had had no expectations, he certainly wasn't expecting this.

He hadn't expected to see  _you_.

He quickly closed his mouth, hiding his surprise with a cough.

"Oh, you gotta be careful. I hear there's a flu going around," the coroner commented with a handshake. "Mr Johnson." Steve shook his hand, but his eyes kept trailing back to you. He gave you a small nod, keeping up appearances, even though he wanted nothing more than to ask where you had been. You had dropped off the face of the earth after leaving them, and though he knew you weren't without reason, it couldn't have killed you to at least send a text here and there to confirm you were still alive. Especially since you didn't even say goodbye.

"Agent," you nodded back to him meeting his stare head-on.

"Ah, here it is," Mr Johnson pulled a file out of his cabinet with a triumphant smile, completely unaware of the tension in the room. "Based on the autopsy, the victim was conscious when her heart was ripped out."

"Any ideas as to what could have happened?" Steve stepped closer to the table where Louisa's body lay.

"Typically I'd assume it was an animal attack."

"In the house?" you questioned as you also stepped forward, phone in hand to take a picture of the wound.

"That's just it. I'll be honest, I'm stumped," Mr Jonson tilted his head, brows furrowed as he also stared at Louisa. "Been doing this for close to 20 years and I've never seen anything like this before."

"Hmm," you took one last look at Louisa, deeming you had gotten all the answers you needed from him. "Alright, thanks."

Steve followed you out, keeping a professional distance until you reached the parking lot. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Around," you shrugged as you opened your car door.

"Y/N..." he sighed, "We were worried sick."

" _You_  were worried sick. Let's be real." You closed your door, rolling the window down, nodding towards your passenger seat. "You need a ride?"

" _We_  were worried sick."

"Yeah, yeah. Just get in." Steve sighed but still opened the door. "Where are you heading to?"

"Border Inn. What about you?"

"I was going to get a room but... heading out of town now, I guess."

"You could still help with the case if you want? It'd be like old times," he proposed carefully, unused to this wall you had put up.

You scoffed. "I doubt it. It's not like I'm wanted there."

"You know, he regrets that night every day. We miss you.  _He_  misses you.”

The rest of the drive was quiet, the silence was only broken once you reached the motel.

"You should come in, at least for dinner or something. He can't make things right if you don't let him," Steve stepped out of the car with those final words. "Room 48. If you change your mind."

*******

Meanwhile across town, Bucky was midst interrogation. He had arrived at Josh's office searching for something that would bring them closer to the truth, but all the man was doing was making up excuses, and frankly, Bucky was getting sick of it.  

"Josh. I need you to be straight with me."

"I'm not sure what you mean, agent." Josh blinked.

Bucky had to refrain from rolling his eyes. "I think you do. I think you're hiding something, and you didn't want to talk about it in front of your wife... You're banging the babysitter." Ugh. What a douchebag.

Josh laughed nervously. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, there's no need for all that. I'm trying to help you out here. Honestly, I couldn't care less about what you do in your free time." Well, that was a complete lie, but if that got him talking, then he would lie as much as needed. "But... I would hate for you to get involved in a federal investigation." When Josh didn't reply, he continued: "Or I could just go talk to your wife."

That got his attention. "I want to be straight with you, agent. I really do... But I can't."

"Sure you can." He really should have gone to the morgue instead.

"No. Honestly, it's too fucking weird. You're never gonna believe me."

"Try me."

Josh hesitated for a second before reaching into his drawer. He set a teddy bear onto the table.

"Let me guess. The missing nanny cam."

"I was having an affair with Louisa," he admitted. "I took the nanny cam, but only because she kissed me in front of it! I forgot it was there," he hurried. He opened the bear and pulled out an SD card. "I was going to erase as soon as we got home, but then we found Louisa's body and... Vanessa ran upstairs to Angie and I..." he trailed off.

"Ran for the cam," Bucky finished. Wow. He was an even bigger douche than expected.

"I know. Dick move. But I also knew that it must have recorded the murder. I was going to turn it over as soon as I erased the kiss. I swear. At least, I was until I saw what was on it..." He inserted the card into the computer and pressed play on the video.

Bucky watched as a figure stepped into the living room, back to the camera. Louisa didn't react with terror but stood up with a smile on her lips as she greeted them (so it wasn't an intruder, Bucky noted).

Louisa didn't get that far though, as a hand ripped through her body, tearing out her heart. However, as the person turned around, the cam finally got a clear shot of their face. It was Josh.

"I know that's me, but I swear I didn't do it," Josh stared at him with wide eyes. "I would never hurt Louisa. I loved her. I-I was at dinner the entire time. You can ask Vanessa or the other guests at the restaurant." He wrung his hands together nervously. "You gotta believe me. Please."

"Relax. I do." The video had given him enough proof.

"You do?" Josh stared at him, mouth wide open.

Bucky reached over taking the SD card out of the computer. "I'm gonna need you to keep this on the low. Just for the time being okay?" He put the card in his pocket, giving Josh a nod as he headed out, ignoring the man's attempts to speak. He wasn't going to stay for longer than needed.

*******

"I'm glad you decided to come in," Steve said with a knowing look as you settled down at the small table provided in the corner.

You bit your lip, "Yeah..." You still weren't sure if it was the right decision. "So, uh, what you've got on the case?"

"We thought it was a werewolf, but we've got nothing pointing towards that except the ripped out heart, you know." He reached for his laptop pulling up his notes from the Wheelers interview, skimming through them. "We interviewed the couple who Louisa babysat for but nada. I'm hoping Bucky's got something better."

"Speaking of Bucky, where is he?" You tried to sound nonchalant, avoiding his eyes as you stood up, walking over to the window.

"The husband was a bit suspicious, so he went to talk with him alone. He'll probably be back soon." He smirked.

"Oh, okay. Cool." You leant against the window pane, arms crossed. "How-eh... how have you been?"

"Good," Steve nodded. "We killed a coven of vampires a couple of days ago."

"Ugh, hate those. Remember when we killed those vamps in Kansas?"

"The way you swooped in and saved our asses? I'll never forget that - especially not the look on Bucky's face." Steve laughed.

"Oh my God, I totally forgot about that. He was all like-" you widened your eyes and your mouth fell open in an attempt to imitate him, but Steve's laughter was too contagious for you not to join in. "Ah, those were good times," you sighed as you calmed down.

"They don't have to be over, you know. Help with the case, and if things are still-" he waved a hand, "then you can leave again. But you'll always be family to us no matter what."

"That was a low blow," you said, but Steve only shrugged.  "You know what... Fine. I'll stay, but only for one hunt," you pointed a finger at him.

Steve lifted both hands in defence. "One hunt."

"And only if you remove that smirk on your face."

"Yes, ma'am." He laughed.

You turned to look out the window again. It was weird being back but damn if you didn't miss it. You were a lone wolf before you met the boys, and completely fine with it, too. However, these last months had been some of the loneliest of your life (you had even caught yourself speaking to one of them before you realised you were alone).

Even if you felt that way, there was still a reason you had left. A reason you remembered the exact same time a familiar car pulled into the parking lot. "I'm not sure this was a good idea." You made a move to grab your jacket, but it was gone.

"Looking for this?" Steve held your jacket up by its sleeve before stuffing it behind his back, snuggly suffocating it between his back and the chair.

"Give it back!" You held a hand out, but he only shook his head. "Steve this is not funny."

"I never said it was," he stared back. The clock was running out, and you were considering leaving without your jacket for a second, but that jacket had been with you through some shit, and leaving it in a motel room was just not fair to it. "You brought it on yourself."

Before he could react, you were on him, fingers tickling his side as you tried to drag your jacket out.  
"This isn't fair," he cried out, desperately trying to keep in his giggles.

"Never said it was. Aha!" You pushed yourself off him, pumping a fist in the air as you recovered your jacket. "Loser."

"I don't think I am," Steve said smugly, gaze turned to something behind you. Your face fell. You got played. Damn Steve and his manipulative mind.

"Uh- what's going on?"

You turned around slowly, readying your mind for the sight that it was about to be met with. It had been months since the last time you saw Bucky, but he still looked the same. He still looked gorgeous.

"Hi, Bucky." Silence filled the room as Bucky simply stared at you.

"I knew this was a bad idea," you mumbled to yourself shrugging your jacket back on. "I guess I'll just uh-" you nodded towards the door, looking at Bucky one last time. You were so caught up in your embarrassment that you missed Steve gesturing desperately behind your back to Bucky.

"Uh... No, stay! Stay," he hurried, cursing himself for his awkwardness. He had envisioned this far too many times, but seeing you in person was enough to make him speechless. There were so many things he wanted to say to you, but his tongue was in knots.

The two of you stared at each other, neither able to get the words out.

"Did you find anything interesting?" Steve stepped in with a sigh. He really had to do everything.

"Oh, I did!" Bucky mentally thanked Steve as he stole his laptop, ignoring his protests as he inserted the card. "Josh stole the nanny cam."

"Why?" Bucky gave him a pointed look and Steve shared a grimace with you as you realised what a character Josh was. "Hold on. I thought Josh was at dinner with Vanessa?"

"He was. That's not Josh."

Brows furrowed you continued watching until the answer presented itself in the form of glowing eyes. "A shapeshifter," you chorused. Good thing you had stocked up on silver bullets before you left.

"Bingo." Bucky stood up, blinking when he realised how close you were to him as your familiar shampoo hit his nose. He had missed that scent. "So, um, where did you meet?"

"We met at the morgue. She nearly gave me a heart attack - I really thought for a moment I was going to get arrested," Steve clapped your shoulder.

"Please. You scared me just as much. I'm still not sure it was a good idea to join you on this one" you grinned.

"You're joining us?" Bucky asked surprised.

Your smile dimmed, "Yeah, if that's cool with you?" You cursed yourself for forgetting this wasn't like the olden days, for all you knew he probably had another chew out ready for you.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. Why not," he scratched the back of his neck.

"Great!" Steve exclaimed. "It'll be just like old times." He turned to grab a bag by the bed. "I'm gonna head out on a run. I'll grab us something for dinner on the way back." He headed into the bathroom leaving you alone for the first time in ages.

You both looked towards the closed bathroom door, panic flooding your bodies. "I think I'm gonna go get a room in the meantime. I want to get one before they're all booked." You also just really wanted to leave the room.

"Yeah, sure," Bucky responded, busying himself with his phone.

The second the door had closed behind you, Bucky turned to Steve, who had just stepped out of the bathroom, with a furious look. "Why didn't you give me a heads up?"

"Why would I?" Steve answered, a small smile playing on his lips. "It's just Y/N." He shrugged as he opened the front door. "See you later."

*******

"Ugh. Why did you decide this was a good idea? He obviously doesn't want you here. He barely even looked at you," you furiously mumbled to yourself as you approached the front desk, taking place behind the unusually long line. Since when were motels popular on Thursday evenings?

"Hi! What can I do for you?" A perky young woman greeted you, at long last, with far more joy than you'd ever want to be directed at you in a motel.

"Can I get a room for one, please?" You gave her an uncomfortable smile back as you tapped your fingers on the desk. The sooner you got the room, the sooner you could continue to scold yourself.

The smile dropped off her face, "I'm so sorry, but we're full tonight."

"There are no rooms available?"

"I'm sorry, no." She smiled sadly at you. "If you come back tomorrow, we might have a free room..."

"No, that's okay. I'll figure something out." You gave her a tight-lipped smile as you walked back to the room. What the hell were you supposed to do? "I could sleep in the car..." you thought aloud. That could work, you supposed, a bit cold, but it was better than sleeping on the streets. You did have a blanket in the trunk of your car, so at least you weren't gonna freeze completely.

This was a problem for later, though, for now, you had to figure out what you were going to say to Bucky. Why did Steve have to go for a run now out of all times? He was really going all out to try and force you to speak, huh? But considering the time it had taken for you to get to the front of the line, he might be back now. You hoped he was.

You pushed the slightly ajar door open, peering into the room nervously, thankful that you at least didn't have to knock. "Hi, I'm back."

"Come on in." Bucky was lying on the bed watching something on the small TV, arms behind his head, but he sat up straight the minute you walked in.

"Steve not back yet?" you asked sitting down at the table.

"No," he answered, and that was it for your conversation. Bucky returned his attention to the screen, while you fished your phone out. Since when did it get so awkward between the two of you? Well, you knew the answer to that question. It was his fault, really.

The night where everything went wrong, it was pouring hard. The monster you were chasing through the woods took advantage of this. Bucky had slipped on some wet soil, and you found him barely in time to stop the monster from clawing his chest open. Apparently, your rescue wasn't wanted, needed or of use to him. You were in the way.

His words. Not yours.

You'd never seen him that furious before. It even beat the time where you and Steve stole his car to grab some food, and he  _loved_  his car. This was so much worse than that. You did still let him take care of that nasty wound you required after saving him, but it wasn't without a major scolding that you somehow endured.  

It was painful to know that the man who was everything to you, had so little place in his life for you. If he really felt that way, then you had no other option than to leave. So you slipped out in the middle of the night, ignoring all their calls until you eventually turned your phone off. This was better for him... and for you. Your poor heart couldn't stand staying while knowing you were only in the way. You had to move on.

And oh, how you moved on. It felt ironic being back in the same room. You had tried so hard to forget him, but who were you kidding. You longed to be back here; to be a part of this family again. Your fury and embarrassment had long since died down, and all you felt was hollow as you tried to drown it by completing hunts, but you knew only one thing - or one person - could make you whole again. He just didn't feel the same. You knew that. Still, it felt better being back than being on your own.

"I brought Chinese," Steve once again swooped in to save the day. He set a bag of food down on the table.

"Good run?" you questioned as you busied yourself with taking the various boxes out. He nodded as he helped you out.

"What did you guys do?"

"I just came back. Went to get a room," you answered him casually.

"Oh, what number you staying in?"

"Uh- 62..." you bit your lip hoping he didn't call your bluff.

"You didn't get a room, did you?" Steve narrowed his eyes.

You blinked. How the hell did he know? You could lie again, but he'd probably see right through you again. Damn. "No... But it's fine, I'll just sleep in the car. Not the first time," you shrugged taking a bite of the chicken.

"You're not sleeping in the car," Bucky exclaimed finally joining the conversation, lips pressed together tightly. In no way was he letting that happen.

"Well, I don't see any other option," you turned to him with an exasperated sigh. 

Steve sat down on the chair as he watched your little discussion with interest. "Why don't you stay with us?"

"With you? There are only two beds here."

"So? It won't be the first time we share a bed." He smirked

Bucky clenched his jaw at the suggestion. He'd prefer you sleeping inside, but to watch you sleep in another man's arms was really unpreferable. Especially Steve's.

"I mean," you glanced back at the beds. They did look comfier than your car, and like they had enough space for two if you lay close enough. Besides, he was right. You had shared a bed many times before, what was one more night?

"I'm sure you'll fit right in Bucky's bed."

Huh? You bristled. He couldn't be serious. He, out of all people, knew your history... and that was exactly why he was doing this - clever bastard. You glared at him, but he ignored it. "I'm all sweaty, and I used up all the hot water earlier, so it won't be a pleasant sleep in my bed. Besides, Bucky doesn't mind sharing, right?"

"Right," Bucky said with a fixed glare. He knew what he was up to. "We can share."

An hour later, as the dark enclosed over the motel, you finished eating.

"Ahh," Steve stretched his arms over his head. "That was great, but I'm beat. I think I'll head to bed."

"Uh, yeah. Me too," you agreed. "You can go in the bathroom first, I need to grab my bag from my car."

You grabbed your keys, heading out into the dark parking lot. "It's just one night... with Bucky... You'll be fine." Wow, you should really consider making a career as a motivator. Your pep talks were definitely working.

Inside the room, Bucky was just as calm as you were. "Dude, what the fuck?"

"What?" Steve exited the bathroom, grabbing a book from his bag before lying down on his bed. "I'm just helping you out."

"You call this helping?" Fuck. How was he supposed to sleep knowing you were going to be lying centimetres away from him, your sweet shampoo washing over him every second. Shit. What if he got a boner? You'd totally think he was a creep.

"It's better than whatever you're doing. You've barely said three words to her." Bucky glared at Steve before marching into the bathroom.

He was a doomed man.

Bucky finished just as you walked back in, shoulders brushing against each other in the tight space as you passed by, warmth burning through your touch. Shit. If he got tingles from just brushing against you, how was he supposed to sleep in the same bed as you?

He wanted to curse the moment he saw you step out of the bathroom in only a t-shirt. Granted it was long, but it only covered the middle of your thighs. That wasn't the worst part, though. The worst part was that it was his shirt you were wearing. The shirt he had given you a while ago. Had you forgotten or did you wear it on purpose? Fuck. It was almost achingly painful to this near to you, but still so far away.

"Are you gonna sleep in your jeans?" you asked as you crawled onto the bed next to him.

"I- I wasn't sure if it-" he stammered.

"Just take them off. It's not the first time you've slept without. Besides, it can't be comfortable," you said making yourself comfortable under the covers, back turned to him so he couldn't see the blush covering your cheeks. Just tell him to strip, what a great idea Y/N.

He slipped out of the jeans, already feeling better, as he got into bed again. "Oh, sorry," he said as he brushed against you. He tried to settle in without being too close to you, but it was impossible with the size of the bed (and his shoulder width).

"Shut up. I'm trying to sleep," Steve grumbled, reaching for his earphones.

Bucky scrambled around again. "Oh, just stop," you pulled his arm over you, resting it on your stomach as you grew tired of his shifting. He stiffened against you, chest pulled close to your back, your warmth hitting his body. He had to restrain himself from taking a deep sniff as his nose hit your neck. Fuck. This was all he had dreamt off for months. It took him more than a couple of seconds to relax, but he couldn't blow the chance he had just been given. Surely, this had to mean that he hadn't completely ruined things. Perhaps, he still had a chance.

He went to sleep with a smile on his face for the first time in months.

*******

The smile didn't last long, though. The next morning another murder had happened, and the three of you were currently outside Josh's office watching his body being wheeled out.

"So... Did you sleep well?" Steve jabbed his elbow into Bucky's side as they watched you talk to the secretary.

"Dude. Stop. I don't know why she even agreed to it. She clearly hates me," Bucky answered sullenly. You hadn't spoken more than a few words this morning to him, while Steve had you laughing at his jokes twice. And they weren't even funny.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Steve responded with a clap on his shoulder before he joined you. Bucky followed a second later.

"You were the last person to see your boss alive. Did you see anything unusual?"

The secretary, Judy, clenched the handkerchief in her hand. She was handling this better than most people would after finding a dead body. "Nothing unusual per se. There was this young girl, brunette, couldn't have been more than 20, who sped out the elevator when I was leaving yesterday. Nearly knocked me over."

Steve reached into his pocket with a frown. "Is this her?" He held up a photo of Louisa.

Judy nodded in recognition. "That's her."

"Thanks for your time ma'am." You both watched as Judy covered her shivering body with a shock blanket.

"Well. This confirms that's a shifter we're dealing with," Steve said.

"It's even impersonating dead people. At this point, it has to be the wife," Bucky added as he got into the driver seat. "Let's go talk to her."

It didn't take longer than 10 minutes to arrive at the Wheelers where a tearstained Vanessa let you inside.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," Bucky said sincerely despite his feelings of disgust for the man.

"I just can't... I can't even believe it," she collapsed into a chair, staring at the wall. "He was just here... How is this even possible?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out," Steve took a seat across from her. "Where's your baby?"

"She's... she's with my mom," Vanessa answered.

"I- uh... I hate to ask this, but I need to ask you a difficult question." Vanessa nodded. "Were you aware that your husband was having an affair with Louisa?"

Her frown turned into a sneer. "Yes, I knew. And I know what you're thinking. Jealous wife kills cheating husband, but I would never do that. I love Josh." she paused for a second, trembling. "Loved... I guess. I-, as pathetic as it sounds, I thought we still had a chance... but now-" she broke into sobs.

You grabbed the pair of tissues you had in your pocket sliding them across the table to her. "Thanks," she sniffed.

"Thank you for your time. We'll leave you alone - let you get some rest," Steve stated as he stood up.

"But before we go, would you mind writing down a number we can call in case we have any more questions?" Bucky slid a silver pen and a business card across the table. You all watched warily as she picked it up and wrote down a number on the card. She had no reaction to the silver whatsoever. "If anything strange or out of the ordinary happens, don't be afraid to call. We're staying at Border Inn. Room 48."

"Thank you for your time," you said as you walked out. "So Vanessa's not the shifter."

"We're back to square one," Bucky groaned. "I could really use a beer."

"Yeah... me too," you agreed, stopping to take one last look at the house, unable to shake the feeling that something was about to go wrong.

"You coming or what?" Steve said as he got inside. "I think I'm gonna hit the library. Might find something useful."

"Suit yourself."

You dropped Steve off, grabbing a couple of beers from the kiosk on the corner. It almost felt normal drinking with Bucky. Well, if you didn't count the awkward glances. It felt strange to be so on guard around the man you used to let your defences down for so easily - easier than you ever had with anyone.

"Hey, I'm sorry for this morning," he apologised staring down his bottle. "I haven't uh... in a while, you know."

You had awoken to quite a shock this morning. Both of you. Bucky was clinging to your body, something hard poking your thigh, and an arm holding you tight against him.

"Don't worry, it happens," you shrugged. Besides he wasn't the only one affected, you had nearly soaked through your underwear, and he hadn't even touched you yet. It was embarrassing how affected you were by his smallest touches. "So you...uh... haven't been with anyone?"

It was foolish to believe he hadn't been. He was a ladies man. You knew that. And it's not like you were even close to being a thing, never had been, but the thought that he might have been with someone while you were gone was still painful.

He nearly spat his beer out, " N-no I haven't." He paused. "Have you?"

"No." You swirled your beer around taking another slurp.

"Good."

"Yeah."

Silence consumed the room once again. Bucky coughed. "Let's see what's on the TV."

*******

Steve entered the room, while you and Bucky were mid-laugh. The beers had done well to loosen the atmosphere, but Steve's presence reminded you of why you were here. It was not to drink and reminisce but to save lives.

"Hey. Find anything?" you sobered.

"No, noth-" He tried to answer but was interrupted by frantic knocks on the door. He frowned but opened it, and Vanessa stumbled inside, locking the door behind her. "Everything okay?"

"No. Josh tried to kill me!" she wrapped her arms around her self.

"Josh, your dead husband, Josh?" Bucky asked in disbelief. Well, that was interesting.

"You told me to come here if anything strange happened. Well, it did. And I think it's my fault." She glanced at you, eyes wide.

"Why don't you come sit down," you gestured to the chair. "C'mon." you laid a hand on her back, feeling the trembles as she sat down.

"I- I really did love, Josh. I swear. Maybe too much," she sniffled. "I just wanted him to love me back. So I went to my hairdresser, and she told me there was a way to get him back. I knew she... dabbled in stuff."

"Hold on. What kind of stuff?" you frowned.

"She's called something uh... a white witch or something. I don't know if you believe in that sort of thing. I usually don't, but I was desperate." She blinked back tears.

"Let me guess. She gave you a spell," Bucky said sharing a look with you. Figures. A fucking witch. Pesky little things and a hundred times worse than a shapeshifter.

"Yes. She gave me a love spell. All I had to do was chant it and seal it with a kiss. I never meant for any of this to happen. I swear! I just wanted my husband back."

"Do you have a copy of the spell on you?" Steve asked. If he could get a look at it then perhaps they could figure out how to solve this.

She nodded, taking a piece of paper out of her jacket. "Here."

Steve grabbed his laptop as he looked it over. A few minutes later he finally found something. "Woah. Okay, so this is not a spell, but more like a curse."

"What?"

"This roughly translates to the kiss of death," he pointed to the title at the top of the paper.

"She never told me that. I swear!"

"What does the lore say? Do you have anything in your notes?" Bucky asked.

"There is no lore. I'm guessing this is homemade."

"Fantastic," he grumbled, pacing the floor. "Okay, so what do we know? You kiss someone, and then they die?"

"Wait a minute," you interrupted. "Did you kiss Stacy?"

Vanessa crinkled her nose. "No, of course not."

"But Josh did," Bucky added.

"So the curse is transmittable?" you proposed.

"Like a magic STD," Bucky said ignoring your glare. "That works." You finally had a lead.

"Oh God! I killed Josh and Louisa," Vanessa stared horrifiedly at you as she put two and two together.

"You didn't kill anyone," you reassured. "This is all on that witch." Vanessa had lost her husband and father of her child because she didn't know better and just wanted him to stop cheating on her. She hadn't chosen the correct way to deal with it, but she didn't deserve his death.

"So why did Louisa die first if she was kissed second?" Steve asked.  

"Maybe you're safe if you pass the curse on? It could be like those horror movies where there's a ghost following you until you pass the curse on. And if the person you passed it on to dies then it comes back to you." You shrugged at Bucky's curious gaze. "I like horror movies. You know that."

The two of you had watched a few together before - well, you had watched, he had his face hidden in your shoulder most of the time.  It was crazy that his job literally involved killing monsters, but he still couldn't watch them on screen. He said it was because of the music, but you called bullshit on that. He was just a little baby, but you didn't mind the way he clung to you.

"That would make sense. It would explain why it's working its way back to Vanessa," Steve agreed.

"I'm confused," Vanessa finally said after unsuccessfully attempting to follow the conversation

"It is fucking confusing. Long story short, if you don't keep paying it forward you die. This curse started with, and I think it wants to end with you," Bucky told her.

"But don't worry, okay?" you stepped in, trying to calm some of her fears. "We're not gonna let that happen."

Not even a second later, the window made a loud cracking sound as it got smashed. You were barely able to turn around before you were thrown aside, head hitting the wooden side of the bed. Steve let out a loud groan as he landed beside you.

Shots reverberated around the room as Bucky fired round after round into Josh's replicate but to no avail. It barely even left a scratch. "Fuck!" Seeing no other option, he quickly bent down and kissed Vanessa, just as Steve crashed a chair over its head, knocking it out.

"What the hell did you just do?" Steve shouted as he threw the remaining stumps of the chair in his hands away. Bucky ignored him, choosing to help you get the terrified Vanessa off the ground instead.

"Come on. Let's go!" You all jogged to the car, focused on getting out of there alive. As soon as you were all inside, Bucky pressed the speeder.

A couple of miles down the road, the adrenaline was slowly taking off. Vanessa had nearly folded in on herself, staring out the window with wide eyes. She was actually taking this a lot better than you had expected. It couldn't be easy to see your (dead) husband trying to kill you.

"I'd say that went pretty well." Bucky pulled the car over to the side of the road. 

He stepped out of the car, Steve and you following quickly behind. "Are you serious? You gave yourself a fatal curse, and still, think things went 'pretty well'?" Steve crossed his arms.

"Are you fucking stupid`" You smacked his chest multiple times, acutely aware that he was letting you do so when he could easily have stopped you. "What did you do that for?"

Did he want to die? You had no idea how this curse even worked, and definitely no way to stop it. You cursed his good heart. Always having to save people, never thinking of himself first.

He finally grabbed your fist, when he noticed the red mark on your forehead. "Are you okay?" His finger lightly touched it to feel if a bump was forming.

You shrugged away from his touch. He just did it again. Caring more for you than for himself. "I'm fine. I can barely feel it. Why did you do that?" Even if his concern was heartwarming, he still wasn't getting off that easily.

He looked down to where he was still holding your hand before looking you deeply in the eye. "I'm gonna be fine, okay? As long as I'm good, she's good, and that's the important thing here." He gave you a half-smile. "Besides, I just proved our theory, didn't I?"

You didn't smile back, freeing your hand from his grasp. "You didn't have to do this. We would have figured something out. You didn't have to be the martyr."

"How long do you think we have?" Steve interrupted knowing this was going to turn into an argument sooner rather than later, and they did not have time for that.

Bucky turned to him. "I don't know. We got out of there pretty quick, but I have no idea what we're even looking for."

"What was that?" Vanessa finally joined you after having eavesdropped through the slightly turned down window, her nosiness getting the better of her.

"We thought it was something called a shapeshifter, but it couldn't have been cause I pumped that thing full of silver, and it didn't even flinch."

"What kind of FBI agents are you?"

"The fake kind. We're hunters," you told her.

"Hunters?"

"Look all you need to know is that we save people like you from those kinds of things," Bucky said. He didn't have time to explain his occupation when there was a monster out for him.

"Even if it wasn't a shapeshifter, it still shifted shapes multiple times. If we can figure out what it is, then we can find out how to kill it," you thought aloud.

"Alright. What do you know about the white witch?" Steve asked Vanessa.

"Not much," she shook her head. "I know her name is Alana. She's kind of weird. I don't know. I've only known her for a few months."

"Do you know where she lives?" you asked. Perhaps she was hiding something useful at home.  

She shook her head.

"Where did she give you the spell?"

"In the basement of her salon," she answered.

*******

Ten minutes and a few red lights run, you finally pulled up to the salon.  

"Alright, just keep the doors locked and stay here until we get back. Unless Alana shows up. If she does, you use this on her." You pulled a knife out of your pocket. "It won't kill her, but it'll slow her down."

"Are you serious? I can't stab anyone!" Vanessa pushed your hand away.

"Listen to me," Bucky turned around from the front to face Vanessa. "Alana isn't just anyone. She's a witch who killed your husband and is trying to kill you, so if she shows up you punch her, you kick her, you stab her if you have to. Understand?"

She cowered under his glare. "I understand."

"Good."

The three of you stepped out, and after a few seconds of you picking the lock, you were able to sneak into the basement.

You began searching the room for clues, stumbling over pots and other objects lying on the floor. "She could really do with a spring clean down here," you mumbled to yourself, feeling a smile pull on your face after hearing Bucky's quiet chuckle.

"I found something," Steve pried the lock off a cabinet, taking out a book.  He scanned it quickly. "Got it. Looks like we're dealing with a Qareen."

"What's that?"

"It's a creature, corporeal in form. A slave to your commands," he read aloud.

"Like a genie?" Bucky said.

"I guess," he continued down the page. "Someone chants a curse, kisses someone and then the victim is seduced and killed by the Qareen presenting itself as their deepest and darkest desire.

"Makes sense why Louisa was killed by Josh and Josh by her," Bucky said.

"And why Vanessa was attacked by Josh. She really loved him," you added.

You flinched when Bucky let out a bark of laughter. "What?"

"You know the silver lining about being cursed? I'll finally get to meet Sharon Stone. My deepest and darkest desire."

"Seriously? You're still into her?" you raised your eyebrows ignoring the pang in your stomach.

"Still? Of course, I am. So, how do we kill it?"

"By stabbing it in its heart." Steve turned the book, letting you see the picture.

"Does it even have a heart with the whole-" you waved a hand over your chest, "gaping hole in its chest?"

"Apparently not in it. The person who has the Qareen's heart is the one who commands it."

"So, Alana."

"Yeah. Let's find the heart." Hopefully, she was stupid enough to leave it lying around here, and not keep it on herself. That would really make things a lot easier for you.

"I'm going upstairs," Steve announced. It was better to split up, you could cover more ground that way.

"I'll go join you," you said hurrying after him. Despite the fact that your relationship was a lot better than when you arrived, the "Sharon Stone" comment had still hurt, even if it might have been a joke. There was also the underlying panic that you didn't want him to see. If you didn't find the heart in time, he would be dead, something you didn’t even want to think about.

Steve and you split up, searching the surrounding cabinets for the heart. "What the fuck is this?" you mumbled to yourself as you held a small bag up by your fingertips. It smelt like weed. "So witches also like to blaze it."

"Found it!" Steve shouted, his findings more important than yours, but less interesting. He took the box out of the cabinet, but in his eagerness, he missed the person who had snuck up behind him.

"Congratulations," Alana said, hand outstretched as she pinned him to the floor. The box fell to the ground with a clank. "I'm guessing you're a hunter."

Alana still hadn't noticed you, hidden behind a corner, so you used that to your advantage. Your hand reached for your gun, cursing yourself when you remembered you didn't have any witch killing bullets on you. You used your last in Michigan last month and had never gotten around to getting new ones.

What the hell were you supposed to do? You caught Steve's eye, and while Alana was distracted, he nodded towards the basement.

Bucky. Of course. You rushed downstairs, careful not to make sounds that would tip Alana off to your presence.

As you rushed down the stairs, Bucky's voice floated towards you.

"Did you find anything?

Strangely, your own voice responded, but it didn't come from you. "I understand, Bucky. The longing in your heart, I feel it, too."

Your feet slowed subconsciously on the steps, ears straining to catch their words.

"That's touching. Y/N doesn't feel that way, though. Never has. But considering you don't have a heart, that makes it extra touching." His fingers inched towards the knife hidden in his pocket as he spoke hoping the Qareen didn't notice.

Your head was pounding with the realisation that you were his deepest and darkest desire. You held on tightly to the railing as you tried to process it. Did he actually have feelings for you, too?

"I don't understand you," the Qareen said, stepping closer. "I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Why do you fight it? Just give in."

"You know what? You're right. The real Y/N does have a hold on me. I love that woman for fuck's sake. But you? You're nothing but a cheap imitation," he snarled, evading the hand that reached for him.

He loved you? You blinked in shock, knees nearly buckling. Then a large smile spread on your face, but it quickly disappeared again when you heard his grunts of struggle, and the reality of the situation set in again.

With pursed lips and resolve strengthened you rushed down the last steps. You had to end things now.

"I need your gun!" you shouted as you flew in from the side with a roundhouse kick. Bucky stared at you slack-jawed as he watched you fight yourself. "Now!"You dodged a punch and managed to land another kick to the side of the Qareen. It was odd to fight yourself, but you didn't have much time to even think of that, not when you had to be cautious of its every move.

"Bucky!" you shouted desperately. You were starting to struggle. The Qareen was incredibly strong, and the few punches it had landed hurt like hell. It was also fast, and able to dodge most of your retaliation.

A particularly nasty kick sent you flying, and you landed on the ground with a groan, the Qareen nearing you with a sick grin.

That finally had Bucky reacting. He ran behind the Qareen, and with a tight grip, he got a hold of the hair and threw it across the room.

"Kinky," you muttered as you got up, waving his hand away. "Give me your gun."

When Bucky didn't react once again, and only stared at you wide-eyed, unaware of the Qareen getting up behind him and the witch holding Steve hostage upstairs, you finally had enough. "Oh my God," you rolled your eyes, hand reaching into his pocket to grab the gun.

"I-" Bucky started, but got interrupted by you.

"Watch out!" The Qareen was right behind him, and if hadn't ducked he would have gotten a fist in the back of his head. Bucky didn't have time to fumble anymore, and instinct took over as he turned to fight. You spared him one last glance before you ran up the stairs.

You tip-toed to the corner where you could see Steve and Alana again.

"I have hundreds of heartbroken women coming to me, but they never learn. They all come back; same story, a different man."

"So you tweaked the curse," Steve stalled, but the relief in his eyes when he saw you was clear. He wasn't sure just how long he could have stalled her for.

"Now, it also punishes the foolish women who want the cheaters back. I'm getting rid of the idiots. And you're next," she raised a hand with a smile, an incantation ready on her lips. Her mouth opened but instead of words a scream left as a bullet flew straight through her back.

The spell she had cast over Steve disappeared, and he threw himself over to the box. Knife in hand, he quickly opened it and stabbed the heart.

A horrible scream echoed in the building as the Qareen disappeared, and you heaved a relieved breath.

"We did it!" you shared a smile with Steve.

"You will regret that," Alana rasped from behind you. In your relief, you had forgotten she was still there. Shakingly, she lifted her hand, but she didn't get far as you shot her again, this time making sure she was dead.

"Fucking witches," you muttered sourly. Good thing, this was over. Bucky was going to be fine.

Wait. "Bucky!" you sprinted downstairs. How could you have forgotten him?

You nearly slipped down the stairs, horrible thoughts bubbling in your mind when he didn't respond. Thankfully, you found him the corner of the room, staggering to get up.

"You okay?" He had gotten a few scratches, and a particularly nasty punch to his jaw that was sure to bruise, but other than that he looked like he had gotten away fine.

"Just peachy," he groaned, accepting your hand. "Is it done?"

"It's done," you nodded, sharing his relieved smile.

"Y/N, I-" Bucky began, just as you spoke, too.

"Buck... I uh-"

He immediately stopped, motioning for you to continue. "I-" you started again, but were interrupted for a second time.

"Let's leave before the police show up!" Steve shouted from above. The shots were sure to have attracted attention.

The same look of frustration that you felt appeared in Bucky's eye when Steve called again. "Come on, guys!"

"Just uh-never mind," you shook your head. This could wait. "Let's go."

*******

It was a relieved and happy atmosphere that filled the car as you drove away from the salon. You dropped a thankful Vanessa off at her house, making sure to sternly tell her not to dabble in things supernatural anymore, which she agreed to readily.

On the drive back to the hotel, the adrenaline began to wear off, and the aches after all the hits you had taken set in. While your body ached, so did your mind with the speed of your thoughts. You spent the drive staring out the window as you tried to process the evening. Everything had happened so fast that you weren't sure if you could even believe what had happened. Doubts started to creep in. What if you had just imagined everything? Could you have?

The fact that Bucky also hadn't said anything was worrying. He'd barely even looked at you since you left the basement.

"Dibs on the shower," you said, hurrying out of the car. You could really use a few minutes, where you could let your walls down without the boys seeing. Also, previous experience had let you know that the boys took ages in the shower, and never left you any hot water, which your muscles would definitely not appreciate.

Bucky and Steve leant on the hood of the car, watching as you scurried inside. "So... You gonna keep me in suspense here or what?" Steve glanced at him.

"About what?"

"Who was it? Did Sharon Stone show up?"

"Nah. It was Y/N," Bucky shrugged.

"Huh. I liked to say I told you so, but I guess you'll punch me so-"

"You can say it." Bucky interrupted. "It's fine. It's about time I do something about it, anyway." He couldn't have kept his feelings hidden forever. Even if you didn't feel the same.

It was weird to have this well-kept secret out in the open, though. His shoulders felt oddly light, despite the fact that you had avoided his eye the entire ride home, and he knew that that probably meant that you didn't reciprocate his feelings. Still, a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He had no idea that walking around with this secret had meant so much to him, but looking back at it, it made sense. It wasn't a crush like he had thought, and that was why it had hurt so much when you had left. It also made sense why he had reacted like that when you nearly died. He had even surprised himself when he confessed to Qareen, but the second the words left his mouth, it felt right. He loved you.

And because of that, he could deal with the heartbreak that was lurking around the corner. If you didn't love him back, he could live with that, if only you were to stay around. The thought of you leaving again was too painful to even comprehend.

"Really? Why the change of heart?"

"I guess I just realised that past me was a dumbass. Even if she doesn't feel the same, she deserves to know."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Steve said. Silence fell over them as Bucky pondered his words. Steve spoke again after a moment: "I'm gonna head in. You coming?"

"Nah, I'm gonna stay out here a little longer. Do you mind telling Y/N to come out when she's done in the shower?"

"Of course, man. Good luck." Steve squeezed his shoulder and walked off.

Bucky bit his lip as he waited anxiously for you to come out. This was it. The moment where he could finally apologise for being an ass, but also the moment of truth. It felt surreal.

"Hey," you said softly as you leant against the hood next to him, hair dripping onto the oversized sweater you had worn. It was his, he realised, and his heart started beating faster. It was cruel of you to wear his clothing when it didn't mean anything to you, but in a masochistic way he also quite liked it. If that was as close he was going to get, he would take it.

"Hey," he murmured, eyes flicking over your face in an attempt to memorise it. There was a lingering worry in his stomach that you were going to leave again, and if this was his last time seeing you, he would make the most of it.

"I'm gonna need you to let me finish speaking before you say anything, okay? Otherwise, I don't think I'll ever get these words out." He paused, waiting for your nod.

"I've been the biggest asshole in the world to you. You never deserved the words that I spoke to you that night. I crossed a line, and I completely understand if you're unable to forgive. I wouldn't forgive me." He breathed in deeply before continuing. "I- I couldn't live with myself if you died, especially not if you died for me. I'm not worth dying over. Seeing you lay there, blood everywhere... I really thought I'd lost you. I've never felt worse. So I did what I thought I needed to do. To keep you safe. I hurt you, but if that was what I needed to do to get you away from us - from me, then there was no other way." He swallowed, blinking back tears. This was his worst memory. His gaze snapped towards yours when he felt your hand squeezing his, gently prompting him to continue.

"The only thing I hadn't thought of was the fact that you leaving was a hundred times worse. I had no idea if you were safe. You didn't answer your phone. It was a living hell," he admitted, eyes staying on your interlocked fingers. "I knew it was my fault, though, so I couldn't even get angry at you. All I could do was hope that you were doing fine... Seeing you again is the best thing that has happened to me since you left." He looked up again, a twinkle in his eye. "Well, besides, the birthday card you sent me. That was a good thing, too. Gave me hope."

Your eyes widened comically. "How did you know it was from me?"

"C'mon. I don't really have friends, at least not ones who bother to send me a handwritten card. Besides, you signed off with those cute little hearts. No one else does that," he said with a teasing smile.

"I'm sure someone else does that, too," you huffed with crossed arms, but you couldn't keep the smile back.

"I don't think so. It's quite adorable, really."

"I'm not adorable," you said, smile fading into a frown as you turned serious again. "I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have left you guys in the dark. The least I could have done was to have sent a text that said I was safe but..." you paused, focusing on the man who was passing the parking lot across from you with a bag of takeaway. It was easier than to look at Bucky. "I was so angry and frustrated, but most of all so  _hurt_."

Not unlike Bucky, the last months had been hell for you, too. "You told me that I wasn't needed; that I wasn't useful to you guys. You told me that I was in the way, and I just couldn't stay. I just couldn't..." you broke off with a sigh. "I believed those words for a long time, even though I listened to your voicemails and messages. How was I supposed to believe them when you sounded so serious?" To be honest, you had listened to them on repeat, and the urge to go back had nearly overpowered you at times until you remembered his stern voice and the fury in his eye that evening.

"I'm such a fuck-up," Bucky said running a hand through his hair. "You're never gonna forgive me for this, and I completely understand."

"I already have," you said softly catching the surprise in his eyes. "Why would I be here if I hadn't?"

It might seem like you were rushing this decision, but it had been made even before you saw him again. The hurt and pain had slowly faded away over the months, and all that had been left was a longing. A longing to be back in this family, and with Bucky.

You had realised that life without Bucky wasn't a life. Especially, when you had no idea when life would be over in this line of work.

"I love you, Bucky," you confessed, palms sweaty and heart pumping faster than it ever had. Past you would have scolded yourself for being foolish enough to even do this. Bucky wasn't a relationship type of man. He'd never talked about love, and the only girls you knew of, were his one-night stands. Why would things be different for you?

However, past you didn't have the same knowledge you did. Past you hadn't heard Bucky confess his love, or have a witch reveal his feelings in corporal form. Those things certainly made a difference.

Bucky tilted his head to the side, mouth open in disbelief. "What? Is this a joke?"

It was your turn to be shocked. "What?"

"You really think it's funny to play with my feelings like that? I get it. I hurt you, but this is just cruel."

"Bucky, what are you talking about?"

"Seriously. It's not fun-" he spluttered when you pressed your lips together

"Shut up," you whispered, lips brushing against his. Bucky stood frozen, but slowly his instincts took over, and he began responding. A warmth began coiling in your stomach, tingles fleeting over your skin as he curled a hand around your waist, and another tangled in your hair. Feeling more confident, his tongue lightly grazed your lips, coaxing a gasp from you that let him enter easily. The heat in your cheeks rose as his tongue touched yours, quick and electric, then firmer and more determined. The feeling of him pressed against you was better than you'd ever imagined. The little grunts he made when you pulled his hair lightly, the taste of him, and the feeling of being completely enveloped in his arms made you crazy.

You only broke the kiss when it was absolutely necessary to breathe, and you immediately wanted nothing more than to press your lips back together. He was like your sweet poison. He leant back so he could see your face, but kept his hands on your face, thumbs lightly caressing your cheeks.

"You love me?" he said gently, and even though you had just interlocked lips, his fear and worry showed clearly in his eyes.

"I do," you reassured him.

A heartwarmingly beautiful smile spread on his lips, and he laughed gleefully. "You love me." His arms wrapped around you as he swung you in circles.

"Bucky!" you squealed but joined in on his laughter. It was too contagious not to.

"I can't believe it. You actually love me," he said one more time, more to himself than to you.

"Well, since you haven't said it back, does that mean it's one-sided?" you said with a teasing glint in your eye.

A startled expression crossed his face. "Of course, I do!" he hurried. In his elation, he hadn't even thought of saying it back. "I love you so  _so much_! Much more than words can describe."

You knew that. It was just fun to see him panic a little. "Good," you pressed another soft kiss to his lips, eyes fluttering shut immediately as he pulled you closer. Just as the kiss was about to turn more sensual, your stomach growled. Loudly.

"We should probably go inside and eat some food, huh?" the corners of his mouth crinkled as he laughed.

"I hope it was Steve who ordered food." You walked in silence, both wearing silly grins as you neared the room.

"Wait. I have a question. Am I really your deepest and darkest desire?"

The tips of Bucky's ears reddened.

"That's cute," you said. Even if it did warm your heart to hear that, you couldn't help but mess a little with him. ""I wonder who mine would be... Maybe Harry Styles?"

"Hey!" His hand shot out to smack your shoulder, but you dodged it and ran into the room, his figure not far behind you.

Things were back to normal between you, only with the added perk of kisses. And if you had to be truthful, you were more than convinced, that he was your deepest and darkest desire, too. How could he not be?


End file.
